Shades of Grey

Growing up in countryside in India comes with lots of perks and disadvantages. The prime disadvantage is the constant heavy-duty shower of the so-called "bharatiya sanskruti" lectures.

A little background info:

Indians think they are better off than the westerners solely because of the spiritual power - the power that is passed on just because they have the Indian heritage and follow its cultures and mores. This whole package is called "Bharatiya Sanskruti" by these silly billies.
To add injury to the insult, these daily hindi soaps glorify all the outdated traditions and show everything in the shades of only white and black. (Psst.. a secret, these soap producers are color-blind!)

What I think:

Oh come on, do you really have to ask this?
Of course it is a propaganda by the moral police/TRP-greedy-color-blind soap producers. These silly billies abuse religion as marijuana.

It was always imprinted on us that our traditions are of utmost value and that you can either be Tulsi (drama queen of one of the soaps)  or can be Komolika (part of the wicked brigade in this soap). There is no shade of grey anywhere in any of these so called righteous characters. The worst part is they always depict the righteous characters weepy and under constant stress while the vamps are shown wild party animals.

I am not sure why we Indians take ourselves so seriously (this includes me as well - I blame it on genes :P). Partying wildly, dating, wearing skimpy clothes are all a complete no-no (especially if you are born as a girl in India).

A well-behaved girl is someone who is obedient (her decisions are irrelevant!) and even if her family gives her the right to take her own decisions, they try to manipulate her every possible way (crying, bullying, anything) to make her agree to their decisions.
I know I paint a very grim picture.. but that is what I have observed most of the time.

So basically, no shades of grey allowed at any time!

Contrast this with Mahabharat characters, btw Mahabharat is the same text that Indians revere.
Bhisma kidnapped three young girls and asked them to marry his brother (without considering their will). He also got Gandhari to forcibly marry his blind brother Dhrishtratra. He was mute when his daughter-in-law was disrobed.

Karna provoked Duryodhana and Dushasana during the shameful act of Draupadi disrobing. Draupadi disrobing also reminds me to write something about this equally shameful and shocking incident that happened to young girl in India.

Even though Krishna had his own grey shades, I respect him because he played the game with consistent rules - the most prominent being - kill the bad guys with whatever means and to always show respect for the women.

We Indians have double standards when it comes to the so called Indian culture (or Sanskruti) stuff.
I hope to raise a fearless child who is open about her choices and who wont give a damn to what others think about her decisions.

If only Bhishma would have remained Devavrata

Born as Devavrata, son of king Shantanu and his first wife Goddess Ganga, he got the name Bhishma (means "He of the terrible oath") because he took the vow of life-long celibacy and of service to whoever sat on the throne of his father.
This was because when his father wanted to marry Satyavati. Satyavati's father refused, on the grounds that his daughter's children would never be rulers as Shantanu already had a son. This is when Bhisma took an oath of life long celibacy..
His vow was an important turning point in the course of events of Mahabharata.

It was he who paved the way for the second important turning point in the story, namely, the wedding of his stepbrother, son of Satyavati, Vichitravirya. Vichitravirya was the second son of Shantanu and Satyavati. Their first son was named Chitrangada, who was a great warrior and was challenged by a Gandharva king, also by name Chitrangada, simply because his slighted his pride to see a human being walking around, bearing his name! Chitrangada was killed in that battle, which lasted three years, and his death moves the course of the epic to an extent, in that Vichitravirya would not have been enthroned had Chitrangada not died simply because he was christened as Chitrangada!

With the death of the elder brother, Vichitravirya was crowned as the king. Since he was too young at that time, Bhishma looked after the administrative matters on his behalf until such time he grew up into a man. Then, the responsibility of finding a bride for Vichitravirya fell on Bhishma. It was at that time did the king of Kashi announce the Swayamvara of his daughters, Amba, Ambika and Ambalika. It was Swayamvara, the selection of bridegrooms by the brides themselves. But Bhishma decided otherwise. He wanted to get at least one daughter of Kashi Raja wedded to his stepbrother, Vichitravirya and went in person, duly securing the permission of Satyavati.

The presence of this ageing lion of Hastinapur amused the kings who had assembled in the hall. ‘This fellow undertook a vow of celibacy and why would he come here, seeking the hand of these maidens?’ they giggled among themselves, not having the courage to speak those words loudly. Bhishma, however, understood the reason for the mockery that is going on behind his back. Added to this, the brides, while walking past him shrugged and acted as though they were afraid of this old man.

That pricked the pride of Bhishma. He walked like a lion, took all the three princess by force on his chariot, and announced to the gathering: ‘I came here with the intention of securing a bride for my brother. There are eight different kinds of marriage that the Books sanction. The eighth one is the one by which the bride is taken by force, facing adversity. I am now taking all the three brides to Hastinapur by force. I challenge anyone to stop me.’ So saying he sent his horses flying in the direction of Hastinapur. Many kings were afraid of coming in his way.

Salwa Raja however did not relent and he pursued Bhishma, since he had already lost his heart to princess Amba. Amba was in love with him too; but she was afraid of saying anything to this ageing lion that had taken them in one sweep into his chariot and was challenging all the kings. Though driven by the impulse of his love for Amba, king Salwa could not match the swiftness of Bhishma, which was a bit too much for even Parasurama, the terror of Kshatriyas.

The three brides were taken to Hastinapur. Ambika and Ambalika had no difficulty in accepting Vichitravirya as their husband. ‘I am in love with King Saalwa,’ Amba blabbered hesitantly. ‘We are in love and I had already decided to garland him as my husband.’ Vichitravirya was not prepared to break the heart of this maiden and marry her against her will. She was therefore sent back to seek the hand of King Salwa.

Little did Bhishma realize that he had seeded his own death, with his own hands, by his own deed, on that day. The events that followed were so painful that Amba vowed to kill herself, or to aid the killing of Bhishma. But even if he was aware of that fact, Bhishma would not have in any way been affected. He was above the fear of death.

Bhishma reflected pretty much everything that was wrong in the system. He was a person who was blinded by his traditional beliefs .. so much that he failed to judge right from wrong..
First he forcibly got the daughters of King of Kaashi without seeking their permissions.. Seems like that is what happens with girls everywhere.. they have to accept what the so called "elders" decide for them.. and if a girl decides to choose her own path.. oh well she is branded a failure..

The second sin that Bhishma committed was keeping mum when his own daughter-in-law was getting disrobed by the Kaurava prince.. He kept quite on the premise that he was tongue-tied because of his duty to the throne of hastinapur..

Mahabharat has taught me that sometimes you have to question the traditions.. You cannot simply follow the traditions blindly.. There must be a rationale somewhere.. If there is no rationale to your actions.. you might end up being a bhishma, living lonely life.. without any purpose..

Like today I came across this article in NY Times.. where lot of male priests have denied ordaining of women priests in catholic churches..
http://catholicism.about.com/od/beliefsteachings/f/Women_Priests.htm

Isnt this simply something what people like Bhishma would do.. follow the traditions blindly..
Sometimes thinking about all this makes me wonder.. if only Bhishma would have remained Devavrata...

Why is Karna a failed "hero"?

Character of Karna has always fascinated so many people. Karna is a very powerful character in mahabharat (abandoned by his mother Kunti and embraced by Duryodhan- the villain in mahabharat).
Karna had all the qualities to succeed - in fact he was much better than all the other pandavs.
But still he fails.. and the question is why..

I dont think it is destiny or his friendship with Duryodhan that led him to destruction.
I think it is his own nature that wreaked such a havoc on him.

Karna never learnt to go back.. take a detour..
Even when Krishna repeatedly advised him to join the pandavas.. tell them the truth about his birth.. he denied saying he has learnt only one thing in life.. never to go back.. always follow one path like the ray of sun..

And that my friend caused all the problem. Plus he had other issues too..

I think the reason why he failed was because no one ever dared to tell him the difference between right and wrong.
The day duryodhan offered kingship to him.. he accepted it..
He also took part in all of Duryodhan's evil plans like disrobing Draupadi (the daughter-in-law of royal family), chasing padavas to the forest etc. etc.

I think it is very important in life to have a guiding force... someone who can guide you to right direction.. someone who can save you from the agony of deep regrets..
And another thing that is more important than first one is the presence of mind to take a detour and correct your actions..

This blog truly summarizes why Karna is a failed warrior.. but not a true hero..
http://pushti-marg.net/bhagwat/karna.htm


More later!